A Parody Anthology

A Parody Anthology by Carolyn Wells
CONTENTS
After Omar Khayyam Page
The Golfer's Rubaiyat H. W. Boynton 3
An Omar for Ladies Josephine Daskam Bacon 5
The Modern Rubaiyat Kate Masterson 7
Lines Written by Request Owen Seaman 10
The Baby's Omar Carolyn Wells 12
After Chaucer
Ye Clerke of ye Wethere Anonymous 14
After Spenser
A Portrait John Keats 15
After Shakespeare
The Bachelor's Soliloquy Anonymous 17
Poker Anonymous 18
Toothache Anonymous 19
A Dreary Song Shirley Brooks 20
To the Stall-holders at a Fancy Fair W. S. Gilbert 21
Song J. W. Riley 22
The Whist Player's Soliloquy Carolyn Wells 23
After Wither
Answer to Master Wither's Song Ben Jonson 25
After Herrick
Song Oliver Herford 27
To Julia Under Lock and Key Owen Seaman 27
After Nursery Rhymes
An Idyll of Phatte and Leene Anonymous 29
Nursery Song in Pidgin English Anonymous 30
The House that Jack Built Samuel Taylor Coleridge 31
Boston Nursery Rhymes Rev. Joseph Cook 32
A Song of a Heart Oliver Herford 33
The Domicile of John A. Pope 34
Mary and the Lamb Frank Dempster Sherman 37
After Waller
The Aesthete to the Rose Punch 40
After Dryden
Three Blessings Anonymous 41
Oyster Crabs Carolyn Wells 41
After Dr. Watts
The Voice of the Lobster Lewis Carroll 42
The Crocodile Lewis Carroll 43
After Goldsmith
When Lovely Woman Phœbe Cary 44
After Burns
Gaelic Speech Anonymous 45
My Foe Anonymous 46
Rigid Body Sings J. C. Maxwell 48
After Catherine Fanshawe
Cockney Enigma on the Letter H Horace Mayhew 49
After Wordsworth
On Wordsworth Anonymous 51
Jacob Phœbe Cary 51
Fragment Catherine M. Fanshawe 52
Jane Smith Rudyard Kipling 54
Only Seven Henry S. Leigh 55
Lucy Lake Newton Mackintosh 57
After Sir Walter Scott
Young Lochinvar Anonymous 58
After Coleridge
The Ancient Mariner Anonymous 61
Striking Charles S. Calverley 64
After Southey
The Old Man's Cold Anonymous 66
Father William Lewis Carroll 67
Lady Jane A. T. Quiller-Couch 69
After Campbell
The New Arrival George W. Cable 72
John Thompson's Daughter Phœbe Cary 73
After Thomas Moore
The Last Cigar Anonymous 76
'Twas Ever Thus Anonymous 77
There's a Bower of Bean-Vines Phœbe Cary 78
Disaster Charles S. Calverley 79
Sarah's Halls Judy 80
'Twas Ever Thus Henry S. Leigh 81
After Jane Taylor
The Bat Lewis Carroll 82
After Barry Cornwall
The Tea Tom Hood, Jr. 83
After Byron
The Rout of Belgravia Jon Duan 84
A Grievance J. K. Stephen 85
After Charles Wolfe
The Burial of the Bachelor Anonymous 88
Not a Sou had He Got R. Harris Barham 89
The Marriage of Sir John Smith Phœbe Cary 91
After Mrs. Hemans
The Thyroid Gland R. M. 93
After Keats
Ode on a Jar of Pickles Bayard Taylor 94
After Heine
Imitation H. C. Bunner 96
Commonplaces Rudyard Kipling 97
After Hood
The Dripping Sheet Anonymous 98
I Remember, I Remember Phœbe Cary 101
After Alfred Bunn
A Yule Tide Parody Anonymous 103
Self-Evident J. R. Planché 104
After Lord Macaulay
The Laureate's Tourney William Aytoun 105
After Emerson
Mutton Anonymous 113
After Mary Howitt
The Lobster Quadrille Lewis Carroll 114
After Mrs. Browning
In the Gloaming Charles S. Calverley 116
Gwendoline Bayard Taylor 118
After Longfellow
The Modern Hiawatha Anonymous 120
Higher Anonymous 120
Topside Galah Anonymous 122
Excelsior Anonymous 124
The Day is Done Phœbe Cary 126
A Psalm of Life Phœbe Cary 127
How Often Ben King 129
Desolation Thomas Masson 130
The Birds and the Pheasant Punch 131
After Whittier
Hiram Hover Bayard Taylor 133
After Mrs. Norton
The Horse and his Master Philip F. Allen 136
The New Version W. J. Lampton 138
After Poe
What Troubled Poe's Raven John Bennett 139
The Amateur Flute Anonymous 140
Samuel Brown Phœbe Cary 142
The Promissory Note Bayard Taylor 143
[xiii]The Cannibal Flea Tom Hood, Jr. 145
Annabel Lee Stanley Huntley 147
The Bells Judy 148
The Goblin Goose Punch 150
After Lord Houghton
Love and Science Anonymous 153
After Tennyson
The Bather's Dirge Tennyson Minor 155
Little Miss Muffet Anonymous 156
The Musical Pitch Anonymous 158
To an Importunate Host Anonymous 158
The Village Choir Anonymous 159
The Biter Bit William Aytoun 161
The Laureate William Aytoun 163
The Lay of the Lovelorn William Aytoun 165
In Immemoriam Cuthbert Bede 174
Sir Eggnogg Bayard Taylor 175
Godiva Oliver Herford 177
A Laureate's Log Punch 178
The Recognition Wm. Sawyer 180
The Higher Pantheism in a Nutshell A. C. Swinburne 180
Timbuctoo W. M. Thackeray 183
After Tupper
Of Friendship Charles S. Calverley 185
Of Reading Charles S. Calverley 186
After Thackeray
The Willow-Tree W. M. Thackeray 188
After Charles Dickens
Man's Place in Nature Anonymous 191
After Robert Browning
Home Truths from Abroad Anonymous 193
After Browning Anonymous 194
The Cock and the Bull Charles S. Calverley 195
A Staccato to O Le Lupe Bliss Carman 200
[xiv]By the Sea Bayard Taylor 203
Angelo Orders his Dinner Bayard Taylor 205
The Flight of the Bucket Rudyard Kipling 206
The Jam Pot Rudyard Kipling 210
Imitation of Robert Browning J. K. Stephen 210
The Last Ride Together J. K. Stephen 212
Up the Spout A. C. Swinburne 215
After Walt Whitman
An American, one of the Roughs, a Kosmos Anonymous 219
Camerados Bayard Taylor 220
Imitation of Whitman Judy 221
Imitation of Whitman J. K. Stephen 224
The Poet and the Woodlouse A. C. Swinburne 224
After Charles Kingsley
Three Little Fishers Frank H. Stauffer 229
The Three Poets Lilian Whiting 230
After Mrs. R. H. Stoddard
The Nettle Bayard Taylor 231
After Bayard Taylor
Hadramaut Bayard Taylor 233
After William Morris
Estunt the Griff Rudyard Kipling 235
After Alfred Austin
An Ode Anthony C. Deane 237
After W. S. Gilbert
Ode to a London Fog Anonymous 239
President Garfield Anonymous 240
Propinquity Needed Charles Battell Loomis 241
After R. H. Stoddard
The Cantelope Bayard Taylor 243
After A. A. Proctor
The Lost Voice A. H. S. 244
The Lost Ape J. W. G. W. 245
The Lost Word C. H. Webb 246
After George Meredith
At the Sign of the Cock Owen Seaman 248
After D. G. Rossetti
A Christmas Wail Anonymous 252
Ballad Charles S. Calverley 253
Cimabuella Bayard Taylor 255
The Poster Girl Carolyn Wells 257
After Jean Ingelow
Lovers, and a Reflection Charles S. Calverley 259
The Shrimp Gatherers Bayard Taylor 261
After Christina Rossetti
Remember Judy 263
After Lewis Carroll
Waggawocky Shirley Brooks 264
The Vulture and the Husband-Man A. C. Hilton 265
After A. C. Swinburne
Gillian Anonymous 268
Atalanta in Camden-town Lewis Carroll 270
The Manlet Lewis Carroll 272
If Mortimer Collins 274
The Maid of the Meerschaum Rudyard Kipling 275
Quaeritur Rudyard Kipling 277
A Melton Mowbray Pork-pie Richard Le Gallienne 278
Foam and Fangs Walter Parke 278
A Song of Renunciation Owen Seaman 279
Nephelidia A. C. Swinburne 282
The Lay of Macaroni Bayard Taylor 284
After Bret Harte
The Heathen Pass-ee A. C. Hilton 286
De Tea Fabula A. T. Quiller-Couch 289
After Austin Dobson
The Prodigals Anonymous 292
After Andrew Lang
Bo-Peep Anthony C. Deane 294
After W. E. Henley
Imitation Anthony C. Deane 296
After R. L. Stevenson
Bed During Exams Clara Warren Vail 298
After Oscar Wilde
More Impressions Oscuro Wildgoose 299
Nursery Rhymes à la Mode Anonymous 299
A Maudle-In Ballad Punch 300
Quite the Cheese H. C. Waring 302
After William Watson
The Three Mice Anthony C. Deane 304
After Kipling
Fuzzy Wuzzy Leaves Us E. P. C. 305
A Ballad Guy Wetmore Carryl 307
Jack and Jill Anthony C. Deane 309
The Legend of Realism Hilda Johnson 313
After Stephen Phillips
Little Jack Horner Anthony C. Deane 315
After Fiona McLeod
The Cult of the Celtic Anthony C. Deane 317
After Various Writers of Vers de Société
Behold the Deeds H. C. Bunner 319
Culture in the Slums W. E. Henley 322
A Ballade of Ballade-Mongers Augustus Moore 322
After Various Popular Songs
Beautiful Snow Anonymous 324
The Newest Thing in Christmas Carols Anonymous 325
The Tale of Lord Lovell Anonymous 326
“Songs Without Words" Robert J. Burdette 327
The Elderly Gentleman George Canning 328
Turtle Soup Lewis Carroll 329
Some Day F. P. Doveton 329
If I Should Die To-night Ben King 331
[xvii]A Love Song Dean Swift 331
Old Fashioned Fun W. M. Thackeray 333
Themes with Variations
Home Sweet Home with Variations H. C. Bunner 334
Modern Versification on Ancient Themes
Goose à la Mode E. Cavazza 346
Three Children Sliding 346
Jack and Jill E. Cavazza 347
Jack and Jill Charles Battell Loomis 348
The Rejected “National Hymns" Robert Henry Newell 352
A Theme with Variations Barry Pain 356
The Poets at Tea Barry Pain 359
The Poets at a House Party Carolyn Wells 363
An Old Song by New Singers A. C. Wilkie 368
Index of Titles 375
Index of Authors 385
Index of Authors Parodied 395

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